Is age just a number? That is what some people say. But for women over 40 dating after divorce their age can cause them to feel like game over when it comes to dating.
It can feel terrifying to even think about meeting men, especially for a woman who was married for 15 or 20 years and is now divorced. She has entered an uncharted territory that leaves her feeling lost and confused.
She is scared that she is destined to live the rest of her life alone.
Well, I’m not going to tell you it is easy to get back in the saddle again because it is not easy. However, what things in life that are worthwhile are easy? Surely finding a fulfilling relationship is worthy of your time and effort.
Given the statistics things could look bleak. The U.S. Census (2008) showed there are 30 million single women and only 20 million single men over 40.
Okay, so now that you know the reality of what you’re up against you have some choices to make. You could decide it’s hopeless to even try to find love again. On the other hand, you can shift your thinking to see this problem from a different point of view.
I recommend you make the decision to see the cup half full instead of half empty. So the odds don’t appear to be in your favor but in real life people beat the odds all the time. Every time someone wins the lottery, they beat the odds.
How do I beat the odds and find love again? Is that your question? Well, I’m going to tell you exactly what to do that will put you on the right track. I know it works because this is what I did when I found myself divorced and in my 40′s.
Dating Tip # 1: Take a critical look at YOURSELF
Next put a plan of action into place. Join a gym to get in shape. Get a new look with hair and makeup.
Update your wardrobe. Don’t forget to buy some sexy lingerie, that will make you feel amazing and will also be your secret weapon.
After a divorce, it is extremely important to re-invent yourself with an image of the new you. Out with the old in with the new!
Dating Tip # 2: Get Clear About Your ‘Why’
Get very clear about why you want to be in relationship. Ask yourself the hard questions like:
Are you feeling lonely and you want someone to make you feel less alone?
Do you hate to go on vacations alone and want a partner to travel with?
Do you feel like a misfit at social events where everyone else is with a partner?
Are you frustrated when something breaks in your home, and you want a partner, so he can take care of the problem?
Now, if you answered yes to any of the above questions than you need to dig deeper to get to the root of the reason you want to be in a relationship. These are superficial reasons for wanting a partner.
Make a list of your deal breakers regarding a relationship. A deal breaker is what you know without out a doubt you could not live with in a relationship. An example may be if someone is a smoker you could not live with that. That would be a deal breaker for you.
The key here are your deal breakers must be 5 or less. If you come up with a bigger list keep working with this concept so that you get down to the very bottom line on both of these issues.
If you take the time to rediscover and reinvent yourself after divorce you will get very clear about how to move forward in your new life. This includes getting an insight into the kind of relationship that would be fulfilling as you move forward to your future.
Don’t leave you love life to chance. So women over 40 dating after divorce have to be an active participants in directing your life towards the relationships you value and want. It is as simple as that.
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