A woman sues Match.com asking the dating site to start screening its membership for sexual predators after her online dating gone wrong experience.
A Los Angeles entertainment executive identified as “Jane Doe,” says she was raped by Alan Paul Wurtzel, a man she met on Match.com. Her attorney, Mark L. Webb is asking for a temporary injunction against Match.com, barring the popular online dating service from signing up new members until they start complying with his client’s requests.
But Match.com, says that they provide their users with dating safety tips, and that although this is a horrible incident, the users are ultimately responsible to screen the people that they meet on the dating site.
Match.com attorney Robert Platt said the company can’t be expected to screen the dating site members.
“Then you’d have to ask for people’s social security numbers, which they don’t want to do. And of course you’d have to pass on the cost to the consumer of doing this,” he said.
The company has no liability, he claimed. “There is a provision on the website saying that they’re not liable for this, and it lets people know that they’re not providing this service and people use it at their own risk.”
When You Date Online, There Is No Dating Safety Net
From the match.com website:
“You understand that match.com does not in any way screen its members, nor does match.com inquire into the backgrounds of its members or attempt to verify the statements of its members.”
This woman suing Match.com who is described as “Jane Doe,” 53 years old, is an Ivy League graduate who works in film and television. She says that she met the perpetrator for a first date at a West Hollywood restaurant, Urth Cafe. She said she found him charming, and agreed to a second date.
But after the second date at a sushi restaurant Alan Wurtzel followed her home and sexually assaulted her. It was after the attack, she went online and googled his name and
discovered that the man had already been convicted of sexual battery against other women.
The Alleged Victim of Online Dating Related Sexual Assault
Jane Doe said in a statement:
“This horrific ordeal completely blindsided me because I had considered myself savvy about online dating safety.
Things quickly turned into a nightmare, beyond my control.”
The “tips” from Match.com – suggest to meet in public, stay sober, and tell a friend what was happening, wouldn’t necessarily have helped prevent this situation.
However, Jane Doe’s lawyer, Mark Webb points out, if Match.com has the capabilities to screen for sexual offenders and can implement them, it probably wouldn’t hurt them. “It’s not a guarantee,” he said.
“But don’t you think something is better than nothing?”
Wurtzel was charged in a separate case, with two felony sexual assault counts in Los Angeles Superior Court in 2010. He pleaded not guilty to those charges. The case’s next court date is April 26.
The civil suit filed Wednesday, April 13, 2011, demands that Match.com screen its members for sexual predators. The lawsuit asks for a temporary injunction barring the site from signing up more members until attorney Webb’s client’s demands are met.
Could observing that a woman sues Match.com, encourage other women to do the same with other dating websites?
Could this action that Jane Doe has taken change the way women will view online dating services and prevent more online dating gone wrong experiences like this?
I guess only time will tell.
Tell me what you think.
Stay safe,
Suzy Weiss
P.S. Is there a viable alternative to dating online?
Click on the link to find out.
P.P.S What should you do if the man you are dating is not truthful?
Related posts:
- ‘Jane Doe’ Match.com Date Rape Victim Reveals Her Identity As Carole Markin
- Match.com To Screen Users Against National Sex Offender Registry
- Dangers Of Internet Dating: One Less Liar Dating Online
- How Do Men Feel About Dating A Divorced Woman?
- Internet Dating Scams – Could It Happen To You?
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I have thought about on line dating but not anymore! I am working on your “Meet Men After 40 – Mobilize A Mob Of Matchmakers” ideas and the party where everyone brings a new friend. I like the idea a lot and will probably expand upon it as I can. The first one was last week and there were 18 people there. No luck for me yet, but some people seemed to be “hooking up” and you know it is a friend of a friend. THE OLD FASHION WAY? Well don’t knock success I say. Thanks for the idea and by the way, I am loving my new haircut and highlights. Who cares if no one else does? I like the new me a lot more than the old me! Thanks Suzy.
Finally someone is going public. I have heard of attacks and abuse before and frankly I am afraid to use an Internet dating service in spite of the popularity. I think that some of these men think a woman in her forties and fifties is desperate if she is using a dating service and they can do what they want. I have friends who do use the online dating and more often than not it is an unpleasant experience. I think I have almost given up on dating. Just wondering, what would you suggest as an alternative?
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Hi Janet,
Interesting point you make about men thinking that a woman in her 40′s or 50′s on a online dating site is desperate. It is important to know that a lot of middle aged women have fallen victim to online predators. Mature women dating after divorce tend to be more vulnerable to dating abuse and dating scams.
Many women over 40, 50 or even 60 have put all their hopes and dreams into meeting a good man via the internet. They do feel desperate because they have no idea of how to meet men other than online dating sites. And the dating sites do a great job of selling hope to these vulnerable women.
These women will spend countless hours working on their profiles and surfing the internet sites for men that they want to meet. And they spend even more time crafting and sending emails and winks to these men that often times can’t respond back to them. It is a common practice on dating sites to post fake profiles and profiles of men and women that are members, not subscribers. In both cases these profiles are used as bait to attract these female lonely hearts. Whether they are fake profiles or are not subscribers, they can’t respond back to the sender. But the woman that is the sender doesn’t know that.
The sad thing is these women can spend years online hoping they will meet Mr. Right in spite of never really having success. And then one day they get scammed out of their entire savings or they become a victim of sexual abuse just like what happened to Carol Markin.
The real problem is theses online dating sites are popular because they are excellent at offering false hope to lonely women. Add that to the fact that many of these women are under the false impression that they are very savvy when it comes to online dating and these crimes will never happen to them.
But senior women dating need to get educated as to the real dangers that exist when using online dating sites. Crimes on dating sites are happening every where and every day to innocent victims. Check out this online dating scam that happened recently in Vancouver Canada.
The good news is you don’t have to give up dating. You just need to learn how to do safe offline dating to meet the one.
Hugs,
Suzy
Suzy,
The online dating services have always left me a little afraid because you never know what you are getting into. I suppose that is true anytime you are dating someone you have never met, but how do you protect yourself? When you are over 40 the dating atmosphere changes so much from your 20s and 30s. I don’t want to be alone, but I don’t want to experience what this lady has gone through. What do you do? How do you know when to proceed and when to turn and run?
Hi Sandy,
Appreciate you commenting on this important dating issue.
I totally agree with your observation about online dating sites. The truth is online dating sites are a perfect breeding ground for predators, liars, players and married men who want to cheat on their wives. It is very easy to lie about who you really are on these sites. From a simple lie about your age or your weight to your criminal record. And the reality is a sex offender or a criminal don’t need to use their own name so they would not be identified in any kind of screening that a online site might use.
So to answer your question what do you do?. Obviously don’t use online dating sites for meeting nice men. Here is the thing, there are intelligent safe dating strategies that we talk about on our blog posts and teach to women dating after divorce. There are many ways to safely meet good men without going to bars, speed dating or online dating sites. You need to have a dating plan in place and a strategy to meet the men that are best suited to your needs. In other words men that would be in alignment with who you are.
The reality is you can’t just leave your dating life to chance like this ‘Jane Doe’ appears to have done. If you have a strong desire to meet your perfect mate than you have to put the effort, time and energy into a solid dating plan that puts you in the position of reaching your goal of meeting Mr. Right.
When you are an intelligent dater you know ‘when and how to proceed’ and you don’t get yourself in the position of ‘when to turn and run.’
So as you can see there is an alternative to risky online dating. To get more of an understanding check out My #1 Dating Secret.
Hugs,
Suzy