What Is Your Attitude Towards Marriage?
For certain women over 40 it’s: I’ve been there done that, never gonna do it again.
A recent study cited on the Washington Post indicates that ‘Married Couples at a Record Low‘.
Some mature women say I’ve learned my lesson, next time I’ll be wiser.
Other women say if it is meant to be it will happen.
What is your attitude toward marriage or what I like to call the ‘M’ word?
Most likely your expectations in your first marriage were not exactly met? Was that because your expectations were not based on reality?
Did You Get Married The First Time For The Wrong Reasons?
Maybe you were lonely and felt left out because most of your girlfriends were married.
Or maybe your felt like your biological clock was ticking and you were running out of time to have the family you always wanted.
Perhaps you got married for financial security.
Or maybe you really don’t know exactly why you got married.
Let’s Face It Marriage Is Complicated At Best.
Trying to put a man and a woman together that grew up with different values is like putting two cats in a gunny sack and thinking they will live in harmony and cooperation.
Successful marriages don’t just happen.
They take work, sacrifice, compassion, compromise and unbending commitment through all the challenges that will emerge for you and your partner.
What happens is we meet a man that sweeps us off our feet and forget what it really takes to make a marriage successful.
So why am I talking about marriage on a website for divorced women over 40?
Because getting married the second time around, your assurance for success is to get really clear about who your ideal partner would be.
Meaning who is best suited for you as a mate.
Now here’s the thing. You can’t figure this out on a superficial level; you must do it on a much deeper level.
You can’t use your ex as a guideline for who not to marry, that is guaranteed to backfire.
You see the first step in having a successful marriage is to be totally tuned into who your ideal mate would be.
That means you spend time and energy on yourself doing the inner work before you leap into dating after divorce.
Most women get this backwards.
They start dating online in hopes of meeting men, get frustrated because they are meeting the wrong men and then move further and further away from what I call intelligent dating.
Intelligent dating is first doing the self discovery to know what you need to have in an ideal mate before you get started dating.
Intelligent dating also means to put yourself in a ‘target rich’ environment where you will raise your odds to meeting your Mr. Right.
I’m not suggesting raise the odds to meet men, I’m talking increase the odds to meet Mr. Right…big difference.
Is A Marriage Attitude Adjustment In Order?
So you may need to do an attitude adjustment around tying the knot the next time around.
But that adjustment means ‘you before him’.
Do the work and reap the reward of love and marriage with the right guy this next time around.