The situation that can make you want to throw in the towel and forget about dating is:

Why Don’t Guys Call After They Say They Will?

Today you’re getting the second of five real reasons…

Why Men Don’t Call Back.

Hey have you ever met a man at a party and…

You Meet ‘Him’ At A Friend’s Party:

A friend from your work throws a party (taking a hint for the Mobilize A Mob Of Matchmakers Strategy) and invites you.

It’s a casual backyard barbeque party.

You show up in your new casual outfit and you’re feeling pretty relaxed and confident.

Standing there sipping your Margarita you notice a guy talking to a few people.

Hmm, wonder if he’s single you think to yourself.

As fate would have it, a few minutes later he comes over and introduces himself to you.

Yup he’s single and nice looking!

You and he delve into casual party talk and before the festivity ends he asks you for your phone number.

You oblige him, and he says he’ll call you tomorrow.

And he does…call you that is!

He asks you out for a drink.

You say yes.

Meeting This Guy For a Drink Scenario:

As you’re getting ready for your date, you think to yourself…

I like this guy.

He called like he said he would.

Similar to you, he has been divorced a little over a year and he is in his late 40′s.

A perfect age for you, you’re thinking as you enter this very nice, upscale bar.

He’s already there waiting for you at a somewhat private table.

On this date you both agreed that you want get to know each other…

First you make small talk and then he begins to tell you his situation.

He’s succinct and direct in describing himself and his circumstances

He tells you that he shares custody of his two children with his ex wife.

He lets you know how proud he is of his sons.

And, he tells you the hardest thing for him is not being with his kids full time.

And now he asks if you have kids and do you share custody?

This innocent question, that he asks… with a genuine interest

Suddenly shifts from a relaxed conversation, to a more intense and emotional energy, as ‘Veronica Venting’ rears her ugly head.

Venting is the way we females typically communicate when speaking about personal matters or what’s going on in our lives.

We vent with our girlfriends, our sisters our mothers, even our daughters.

Venting, with our female friends is such a common and healthy form of communication for us, we are not even aware we do it.

So when ‘Veronica Venting’ enters your conversation, it seems a normal and natural way for you to communicate.

There are literally 100′s of examples of venting.

Venting can be subtle or it can be obvious like a rant.

For the purpose of illustrating venting in this dating situation for you right now…

I am using an overt rather than covert example.

Veronica Venting On The First Date Saga

So it starts with him asking you…

If you have kids and do you share custody?

You answer this question by starting at the very beginning.

You begin by sharing how your husband cheated on you…

Not once but multiple times.

You give all the gory details of the custody battle you went through with your ex.

You express in detail all the challenges of being a single mother.

You vent about how you don’t know how you will ever be able to trust men again and on
and on, and on.

You get the idea, right?

Veronica is in full tilt vent mode.

Now, you may be thinking…

But I don’t do that!

Okay, you may not vent exactly in this way…

But, let me assure you…

You probably do your venting in some way.

If he doesn’t call you back after the first date, this could be one of the reasons he’s passing on you.

Here’s the thing…

All he see’s is red flags and problems.

Men see themselves as problem solvers.

It’s exhausting for him to think about how he could solve all your problems.

A man is looking for a woman that can be nurturing and supportive of him.

A man does not want a woman that is an emotional drain, needy and demanding.

Venting is the way to send a man packing.

But I digressed…back to our saga!

As the evening ends, he walks you to your car and says…

I’ll call you next week.

But of course, you never from him.

So if he wasn’t going to call you why did he say he would call you?

That’s easy…

He doesn’t want to hurt you, so to be polite…

He says I’ll call you next week.

Even though he has no intention of ever calling you again.

I know, this is not easy to hear…

But don’t you think it’s better to know the truth, than play the guessing game?

The antidote for this situation is:

Put yourself in your date’s shoes.

From the male perspective think about:

How he as the man, would like to interact with you, as the woman.

It’s pretty simple.

He wants to experience your femininity, your playful self your engaging, flirty personality.

It’s only fair that I tell you that this whole subject of venting is a huge subject in and of itself.

But to insure that you won’t experience this unhappy ending…

Only allow ‘Veronica’ to vent with your gal pals.

Don’t burden the guy you just met with your emotional baggage.

Today, I just wanted to give you some insight, so you can take an honest and introspective look at your interactions with men.

To learn more, become interactive with our facebook community of women dating just like you, and share any insights or thoughts you have about the subject of venting.

Watch for the 3rd real reason why men don’t call.

It’ might surprise you!

Hugs,

Suzy Weiss
Dating Coach for Women

 

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